Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
