I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize