yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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