Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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