Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
