i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
