I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
