if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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