I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
