I skipped work to stalk him.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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