Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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