how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
