he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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