I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
