and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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