Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
