How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize