He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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