I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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