apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
