That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
