You're so nebulous sometimes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
