census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize