Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
