Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
