Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
