before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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