i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
