Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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