MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
