I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
