farters have to be the big spoon...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
