I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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