Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
