That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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