yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if only i could text you this smell
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
