ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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