Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
