I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you never un-have a 4some
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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