If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
