You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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