last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
