You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
