Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
