She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
