I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
