I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
