I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize