I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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