you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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