I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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