I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
