i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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