i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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