you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
