Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
