A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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