shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
