handjob tips. give me some.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize