I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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