We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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