I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
