He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
