Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
time to smoke my breakfast
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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