If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
