So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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