dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
